Closed Doors
by mayzee
Summary: Set directly after There Will be Blood (5.16). Lisbon visits Jane in his attic after Lorelei Martins is found murdered by Red John. Three shot tag that breaches into AU. Warnings for Jane and Lisbon warring, occasional bad language and sexual scenes. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is dedicated to my lovely Twitter friend Conni who I promised to write an angsty (and hot) one shot for a long time ago as a birthday gift. This has turned into an extended** **one-shot** **so will be published in three parts instead of one to assist with reading. I'm also hoping some feedback will give me the inspiration to finish it this week as I'm running around in circles with how to do so over 9000 words in, currently.**

 **She's a bit of a fan of a warring Jane and Lisbon so please be warned there's plenty of that here. Please don't read if that offends you. Also, this is somewhat OOC in places, I feel. I never intended to publish so I thought I'd take the characters for a play about more than I normally would but then decided what the hell, what's the worst that can happen? (Guess I'll find out soon enough lol).**

 **But again, please take heed if you feel this isn't the type of fic for you.**

 **Hope this settles the debt at long last, my dear.**

 **This is set at the end of** _ **Th**_ ** _ere_** _ **will be Blood.**_

 **Naturally, it's AU from there or else...why not just watch the show?!**

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Closed Doors

 **" _She had it coming."_**

* * *

Chapter 1 - Attic

Jane stood at the doorway to the outside of his attic, a cold night breeze washing over his bared arms as he remained there in his suit, sans his jacket and his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows, hands buried deep in his pockets.

He didn't feel the goosebumps that had alighted on his skin, curling its soft blond hairs upwards. Motionless, he stared into the blackness before him, starless and bleak, perfectly in tune with his mood. The lines on his face deepened into trenches from his persistent scowl.

An insistent banging came to the metal door behind him. He sighed. Ignored it.

It came again, followed by what he knew would be Lisbon's voice. "Jane, are you in there?"

He denoted worry and some panic in her less than dulcet tones. He said nothing in response.

"Jane? I checked your Motel and you weren't there. Just tell me you're in there and that you're okay and I'll go."

He rolled his eyes and called back to her, "I'm fine, Lisbon. It's two am. Have you no home to go to?"

He listened for the sound of receding footsteps, could imagine her face screwed up in indecision. He'd barked out his reply - a rookie move.

Purposefully he turned his voice softer and more kindly. "I promise you I'm fine. Please, Teresa, it's late. Go home. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Calling her by her forename unsettled her on occasions and made her retract from his presence. He only hoped it would have the same effect on this occasion.

Unfortunately, it did not.

She pulled at the door, surprised both of them that it was already open. Another mistake. Too distracted, he hadn't secured it when he'd returned earlier to this perch.

As usual, she covered up her concern with a snippy comment. "Damn it, Jane. I could have been anyone. Especially after tonight, you have to be more careful when you're up here alone."

His back to her still he made no response. _He knows where I am, let him come_ , he said to himself, his hands balling into fists inside his pockets.

She sighed and closed the door behind her, the sound of metal scraping echoing in the silence she entered.

He injected joviality into his voice. "Why are you here at this time of night? You really need to go and get yourself a life, Lisbon."

She didn't reply that he was as much in need of a life away from the CBI as she was. "Just got back from the crime scene." _The one you left within ten seconds of being there._

"And?" he asked with a disinterested yawn.

"No fingerprints or trace of any kind found."

"I wonder, sometimes, why you and your people even bother to check still when it's him."

"It's our jobs. And he might just make a mistake one of these days and we'll get lucky. We have to keep hoping for that, Jane."

"Of course. It's not like he's had years to perfect his craft by now, is it?"

As she rolled her eyes he added, "Hang on, you said you just got back from the crime scene but yet you had time to check on my Motel first? Hm. Interesting."

"It was on my way back here," she argued. She took a few steps until she stood beside him.

He continued to stare ahead. "No, it wasn't."

She tutted, "Fine, no it wasn't. I was worried about you...about how you just left like that..."

"You mean you're worried about what I said before I left," he smirked with that air of superiority he used sometimes that made people want to punch him.

"That too." She pulled her grey suit jacket around her for warmth. "What...what did you mean – she had it coming? You can't have meant that. No one deserves that death, Jane."

For the first time since she'd arrived, he turned to face her. His eyes circled her face for a second before settling on hers. Dispassionately, "I meant just what I said."

He moved past her and sat down on his makeshift bed, swinging his legs up to lie down. He shifted slightly to get comfortable and closed his eyes with a deep breath, effectively ending their conversation.

"I don't believe it's as simple as that for you," she said, coming to stand over him. "Not with her, especially."

He cracked an eyelid open and turned his head towards her. Coldly, "Then you're mistaken."

She shook her head. "Jane..." Licked her lips. "You can't tell me that this doesn't matter to you or hasn't affected you...this...she meant something to you. You told me as much only a couple of weeks ago. You're not okay. It's obvious."

He sighed and rested his hands on his stomach, turning his head away from her again before he closed his eyes.

Incredulously, "So that's it? Discussion closed?"

He shrugged. Lazily, "What more is there to say? Unless you want to get it over with."

"Get what over with? What are you talking about?"

He puffed out a long breath and sat up again, resting the palms of his hands on his thighs. He gazed at her until her cheeks flushed. "For you to tell me 'I told you so', of course."

She rolled her eyes again. "Don't be so idiotic-"

"Why not? You have every right," he bit back. "Go for it. Get it out of your system by all means." He got to his feet and stood opposite her, almost bearing down on her. "You were right. She played me. Told me absolutely nothing in the end. Is that what you came to hear, Teresa?"

Her name sounded like poison from his lips. "You really think saying that would give me any kind of satisfaction?"

"It should do. Not often you're right and I'm wrong. You should enjoy the win when you get one. Bravo."

She shook her head at him. "You're a condescending ass when you want to be, you know that?"

He shrugged. "Just go home, will you," he snapped, moving back to the doorway he was standing in when she arrived.

"No. It sounds like you want to have an argument so go on, have at it. Hit me with your best shot, Jane, see if it makes you feel better."

He laughed mirthlessly. "Reciting song lyrics? We can do a little better than that for repartee, can't we?"

"It's called a row, I believe, not repartee."

He turned towards her, ire dancing in his eyes. "It's called you not leaving me be when I ask you to, woman."

"What the hell is your problem?!" she exploded. "I just came by to check on you-"

He took a step closer. "Of course, you did. Saint Teresa had to check up on one of her wards, didn't she? She had to make sure the pathetic specimen who just lost his best chance of finding Red John wasn't hanging himself from the rafters up here. She had to attempt to buoy his spirits with a bunch of words and clichés that mean nothing. She had to see if the man who spent six months in the desert hadn't lost whatever marbles he has left. Who went to Vegas and ended up...-"

Sharply, he stopped talking and took a deep breath. Defeated, "I'm sorry, I'm not myself like you said. So just go, will you? Please."

He turned his back to her and sighed heavily.

Softly, "Jane-"

"If I want your pity I know where to find you, Lisbon. Goodnight."

He walked outside and leant his elbows on the stone balcony, his gaze set on the sparse twinkling lights of Sacramento.

"Talk to me," she said quietly from just inside. "I hate to see you like this. Look, this was a blow...of course, it was...but you still have a lead, you still know you met him. It's something to build on, isn't it?"

Silence descended for seconds. She approached until she stood beside him and mirrored his position. Finally, he spoke in barely a whisper. "You know what my first thought was when I saw her lying there? Not that a life was taken...not that _her_ life had been taken...not even anger at him. My first thought..." He licked his lips and continued to stare ahead. "My first thought was that I'd just lost the best chance I had of finding him. Not sympathy...empathy...none of that. I told her I was sorry but I didn't feel it. I felt nothing. And now I'm just angry at her instead."

Lisbon breathed out. "It's understandable your emotions would be all over the place."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Christ, Lisbon, why do you insist on looking at me like I'm a better man than the one I actually am?"

"Stop talking like that."

He turned towards her and stared at her side profile. Her face was set in grim resolve, almost devoid of feeling. But, as ever, her eyes gave her away. Tears pooled in them, glimmering like black pearls in the night.

"You called me a cold bastard once. You were right. You know you were. Now more than ever you know that's true."

She faced him and shot him a look of contempt. "No, I wasn't. You might like to believe that you are. Makes it easier to treat people like crap sometimes if you tell yourself that. Call them marks for getting sucked into your show, no doubt. But I know you better than that. I _know_ you're _not_ that."

"No?" he sighed. "Ever considered that maybe that's just what you want to believe?"

She squared up to him. "You think I'm delusional where you're concerned? Sure, you like to act like a cold fish sometimes and pretend that things don't bother you, that...that people don't matter to you...But I know you feel things more than anyone else I know. Don't kid yourself that you're some kind of sociopath if this is where you're taking the conversation."

He raised an eyebrow and huffed, "Wainwright called me a psychopath, actually."

"He was an idiot."

She licked her lips, the Catholic guilt part of her kicking in quickly and making her feel ashamed for talking ill of the dead. She exhaled. "Why do you insist on doing this to yourself?"

He faced forward again, a smile on his lips in contradiction to the tone of his voice. "What, in particular? I'm quite pitiable presently so you'll need to be more specific."

She snarled and pointed at him. "This, for one. This feeling sorry for yourself crap. It's pointless. Won't get you any closer to finding Red John."

He bristled, "If I recall correctly I didn't ask for your company tonight to my pity party. You know where the door is."

She shook her head and sighed. "Fine. If that's what you want I'll go." She sneered, "I'll let you wallow in your damn thinking room. Let you be alone with your ghosts." She was about to walk through the doorway to the inside then turned back. "You're going to push me too far one of these days, I swear, Jane."

He chuckled and taunted her with a sing-song voice. "Sure, Lisbon, if you say so."

He couldn't see the tears that pricked at her eyes. "You don't care less how you treat me, do you?" she asked, anger turned to curiosity, edged with upset and dread. He said nothing in return and a cold shiver raced through her. Quietly, "Maybe you were right, maybe even with me it's all an act and I'm the biggest sap of them all. Is...Is that?...Tell me that's not true, Jane."

He said nothing to the desperation he heard in her voice and just stared into the night with his back to her.

She went to turn towards the door but suddenly marched back to him instead and grabbed his shoulder roughly to make him look at her. "Say it to my face, then, you son of a bitch. If that's true then tell me you don't give a damn about me and you've been merely using me for your own means all these years. If you're this psychopath or sociopath you think you are then say it, goddamnit! If I don't matter to you then say it!"

He stared at her, his gaze fraught with a look she couldn't determine. His eyes flickered from side to side, caught in her stare. It was like he was gearing up to admit something but she had no idea what. Indecision washed over him and she saw the battle in his eyes over what to say and what not to say. Her heart hammered in her chest.

They locked eyes for an eternity, pulses racing. He growled eventually, his pupils dark and blazing, "Leave now, Lisbon."

She got in his face. "Or what?" She laughed at him. "What are you going to do about it? You can't even tell me the truth of how you feel. You're nothing but a damn coward, Patrick Jane. You think you're on some righteous mission where everything you do can be justified because of it? Well, it can't. Because people _matter_ , Jane. They're not expendable. They have feelings and they can _hurt_! You're not the only person capable of feeling that. And we're not all built like you with stones where our hearts once resided. Assuming you even had one in the first place."

She saw hurt spread across his features, unquestionable pain. The months of him being in Vegas rolled over her like heavy thunder, the nights spent worrying about him flashed before her like lightning. She didn't mean all that she was saying but she couldn't stop herself. She'd buried down the anger she felt at the time like she always did but clearly not nearly deeply enough. It was overtaking her now, growing into a tsunami and its power obliterating everything in its wake.

She'd hurt him. For once, she had been the one to inflict pain. It felt good. She'd hate herself later but, for now, it felt good.

She continued, barely registering what she was saying. Scornfully, "What would they think of you if they could see you now?! You think they'd want this life for you?! You think they'd want this revenge you're set on no matter the cost?"

She grabbed the sides of his opened shirt collar to excite some reaction in return. He allowed her, rocking slightly on his heels as she pulled at him. He'd covered his expression with his mask again, empty of emotion.

"How would your wife feel about you sleeping with his whore?!" she yelled.

She saw the briefest tic of anger in his eyes and capitalised, "Was she worth it now? Huh? Was she?!" she shouted, taking a deep breath as she ran out of steam.

He looked at her hands, bunched in his shirt, shaking. He glanced back at her face and she let go of him as they continued to tremble as she stumbled back. She reddened, mortified at allowing her emotions get the better of her, of the things she'd said.

Calmly, he replied, "Feel better now you got all that off your chest?"

She wanted to punch him for his aloofness. But she was spent, her energy zapped. Her shoulders sagged in defeat. "I wish I did," she croaked, shaking her head as she breathed heavily.

He walked inside and sat down on his bed again. She trailed after him with a sigh and sat in the chair beside the desk. She saw his notebook there where he was gathering his Red John names. She pushed it to the back beside the window and closed her eyes briefly. She'd thought enough about that monster lately to last her a lifetime. And his latest handiwork was fresh in her mind to give her chills. But here she was in the middle of the night discussing him once again.

Jane had called himself pathetic earlier. How was she any different? If anything, she was worse. At least he had a reason behind his quest, a personal connection why it mattered to him. And here she was riding his coat tails after him on it. She didn't even tell herself she wanted Red John caught because of the murders he'd carried out, the lives he'd taken. Not anymore. Of course, that was still important to her but, primarily, she wanted him caught so that the man sitting opposite her could put it behind him, hoped that it would end his suffering and stop the darkness from invading him permanently. If it wasn't already too late.

It had been hard coming to that realisation but now she had there was no getting away from it. Just as there was no getting away from the other realisation that had struck her recently after years of denying herself another truth – she was in love with him. The jealousy she had experienced over Lorelei Martins only proved it.

She was pragmatic enough to understand that even if Red John was defeated and even if Jane somehow lived through it without being sent to prison or getting himself killed or ending up in a Mental Hospital again not to expect more than that. She had fantasised, on occasions, of course. Dreamt of them being together when his spectre was behind them, of them building a home together, perhaps a family, a dog even. She'd dreamt of some gormless mutt they'd fawn over with a wiry coat and docile eyes, a baby in a crib.

Then she'd woken up and found her cheeks wet and a longing in her belly.

She swallowed thickly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jane watching her studiously. She looked outside into the black so she could turn her head from him, away from his line of sight. Although she knew he wouldn't bring up the subject even if he could read her thoughts. He preferred to live in this fictional world where they were only colleagues and friends too. Although currently, it was more blurred than ever as to what they actually were to each other.

"What did you mean earlier when you said I feel things more than anyone you know?" he asked after a lengthy silence between them.

She screwed her face up as she looked at him again. "What? That's what you want to ask me? What about everything else I said after that?"

He shrugged. "You were letting off steam."

She laughed softly but without humour. "Jeez, Jane. Does nothing ever get to you?"

He troubled his bottom lip then cleared his throat, went back to his earlier question. "What did you mean?"

Wearily, "I don't know, really."

"Of course, you do."

She ran her tongue along her lips. "I guess...I guess it's just that...well, you always know what people are thinking or are going to do-"

"Not always. Obviously," he interrupted, some bite to his words.

"Mostly, then," she amended. "That...that insight you have into people. It must make you more attuned to how they feel than most people, doesn't it?"

He raised an eyebrow and scoffed. "What it does is make me realise how many liars there are in the world, the depths people will go to in order to betray others, the crimes they're willing to commit for money, prestige, whatever, even with people they purport to love. Makes me realise how many people lie to themselves on a daily basis."

He looked at her, a question on his face.

"I don't lie to myself, Jane. Believe me, I know more than anyone where I stand with you. Tonight confirmed that for me."

"Oh, and where do you think that is exactly? I didn't answer your question. And I didn't actually say I was talking about you."

She got off her chair and stood in front of the table. She sighed, "Yeah, I know you didn't. But who else would you be talking about, huh? Anyway, that in itself tells me everything I need to know. Look, it doesn't matter. Never mind. And you're hardly one who has the right to be appalled by people lying on a daily basis, are you?"

"We're back to this old argument again, are we?" he sighed, flopping back onto his bed again. "Then it really is time to say goodnight, Lisbon."

She hovered over him for a second, his eyes closed and lying on his side. "Guess it is," she mumbled. "Night, Jane."

She stopped at the door. Awkwardly, "Look, about what I said...about your wife-"

"Don't worry about it," he responded without stirring.

"It was uncalled for," she admitted meekly.

"Yes. But you were right, in any case."

"It wasn't my place to say those things even if I was."

He snorted softly. "It's nothing I haven't already said to myself at least a dozen times, Lisbon."

"Jane-"

His voice cracked. "Goodnight, Teresa."

She nodded quickly, her throat constricted. She wiped away a stray tear and pulled the door open. Before she went through, she uttered quietly, "And this, too. This is how I know how deeply you feel things, Jane. Pain is an emotion like all the others. I just hope the others are merely dormant, not dead."

She crossed the threshold.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** **Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews for the first chapter. I am absolutely gobsmacked so many of you are enjoying this walk on the wild side (as one of my lovely reviewers so eloquently put it!) with these characters.**

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Chapter 2 - Aftermath

The following day a case had taken Lisbon and her team out of Sacramento. Jane was not required - whether on Lisbon's say so or Bertram's he wasn't entirely sure which - and spent the day in his attic, compiling name after name in his notebook, barely taking a break even for a cup of tea.

An arduous task of memory recollection, but still an easier one than pondering on the conversation of the night before. Lisbon and he hadn't spoken since; contact maintained only via a couple of scant text messages.

By evening he'd come down to a sparse bullpen to make his favourite brew. He glanced inside Lisbon's darkened office as Ron walked past. "Hey, Lisbon not back yet?"

The other man shook his head. "They're held up, I heard."

"Oh, okay, thanks."

They weren't back the following day either, the case obviously more complex than initially figured. He waited on a call to ask for his help but none came. He focused on his list again and ignored the gnawing pain in his gut her continuing absence caused.

By night time he came down from his perch again, noticed Van Pelt working feverishly at her desk. "Hey, you're back then, I see. How'd it go?" he asked pleasantly with a well-practiced easygoing smile.

"Mostly fine in the end," she shrugged, her posture speaking of recent upset. "The boss is cleared for active duty from the day after tomorrow. She just has to rest up tomorrow in case the wound opens up again. She'll be in her office, though, you know what she's like, even if she has to stay out of the field." She laughed, punching some keys quickly as she looked at the screen in front of her, "I'd stay clear until she has her morning coffee, you know how she hates being sidelined."

He blinked rapidly. He'd barely heard anything after Van Pelt mentioned she'd been wounded. "Cleared? How do you mean?" His chest tightened as he fought to keep the panic from his voice.

The redhead looked up and frowned at him. "She said she'd called you. She didn't?"

He barked out a reply. "Would I be asking if she had? What happened, Van Pelt?"

Alarmed at his tone she drew her head back sharply then relaxed her shoulders a second later. Softly, "She's okay, Jane. It wasn't that big a knife and she managed to break free before-"

"She was stabbed?!"

"Uh...yeah. But she'll be okay. Damn, maybe I should have called you after it happened but when she said she'd talk to you herself about it-"

"Yes, you damn well should have," he interrupted. "Where is she now? Home?"

Timidly, "Yeah, presume so."

* * *

Lisbon felt herself fall into a soothing narcotic haze as she lay on her couch in a black tank top and leggings, a bag of potato chips balanced on her belly. Her left arm was propped up on a cushion as she watched a baseball game, a thin bandage around her bare upper arm.

The sound of relentless banging on her front door startled her wide awake again. "Oh, god," she muttered, glancing at her cell phone guiltily that she'd switched off thirty minutes prior.

"Lisbon!" Jane's voice rang through the wood, shrill and persistent.

"Coming!" she shouted, getting to her feet with a grimace.

When she opened the front door he was looking at her with wild eyes as they ran fleetingly over her entire body. "You were stabbed," he said accusingly, his eyes lingering finally on the bandage on her arm.

"Yeah," she said with a one shoulder shrug. "It's nothing, Jane." She moved to allow him to enter and closed the door behind him.

Once inside he started up again. "So then why not tell me? You thought you'd punish me instead by keeping it from me? Give me a little of my own medicine because I occasionally keep some stuff from you?"

"What? No! What are you talking about? We're not in high school. You really think I'm that petty? But while we're on the subject – occasionally, seriously?" She snorted, "Think you better look up _that_ definition in the dictionary."

He ignored her jibe and continued, "So then why didn't you call me?"

She exhaled. "What was the point? It's nothing-"

He pointed at her arm. "Don't keep telling me it's nothing, Lisbon. Besides, you told Grace you'd tell me."

"Yeah, tomorrow. You were going to find out in the morning, what's the big deal? And it _is_ nothing, Jane. It's hardly even a graze. You know what these doctors are like, and Van Pelt's not much better with all her mollycoddling. I'm fine."

He stared into her eyes. "You absolutely sure?" he said gently, his expression softening with his tone.

She nodded, caught off guard with the worry in his voice and how his eyes seemed to bore into her soul for the truth. Her cheeks flushed and she responded quietly, "Yes, I promise."

"You still should have called," he said again with some petulance after a second.

She smiled briefly. "All right. I'm sorry."

He breathed out and nodded. "How'd it happen?"

She went back to the couch and drew her feet up under her. "I got caught out. Didn't see the knife until it was too late. My own fault, really."

"Well, you didn't exactly stab yourself, did you," he remarked with a gentle smile.

She laughed softly. "Still, should have seen it. I've been trained better than that for some scumbag to get the jump on me like he did."

He sat down beside her. Worried, "Your mind was elsewhere," he stated quietly. "You were preoccupied because of the words we had the other night."

"No," she replied. All too quickly. She licked her lips. "Not everything is about you, Jane," she continued.

"This was, though, wasn't it?" he said, sure of himself.

She laid her head back on the couch. Tiredly, "I dunno anymore. But you can't say we're in a good place with each other currently, can you?"

He sighed and shook his head. "I'm-"

"Please don't say you're sorry, Jane. This _could_ have happened anytime, preoccupied or not. It's not your fault I worry about you - it's not like you ask me to or even want me to like you said the other night. Just please don't make me deal with your guilt tonight about this, I'm exhausted." She rubbed her forehead as she closed her eyes. Then she got off the couch quickly with a deep sigh. "Thanks for stopping by. I'm going to bed. Let yourself out and I'll see you at work tomorrow."

She turned off the television and mounted the stairs alone.

* * *

A week later they had eased back into their normal work life, each one pretending everything was as it always had been pre Lorelei Martins entering their lives and departing it.

Jane was his usual self, uncontrollable and unashamed as he acted like a precocious schoolboy while Lisbon portrayed her role perfectly of ineffective school ma'am, issuing punishments and speeches she knew would never kerb her worst pupil's behaviour.

They didn't refer back to their contretemps in the wake of Red John's girl's demise as they went about their days. Jane continued to guard his recently acquired notebook with his life as Lisbon took as little notice of his prolonged scribbling in it as she could manage.

Two weeks later she took a sick day. An anomaly that had him puzzled. He sent a text, wishing her a speedy recovery. She responded he'd better not make trouble for Cho until she returned. He smiled as he lay on his couch, telling himself everything was fine and that normal service had been resumed and their rough patch was over. She was back the next day, looking no worse for wear and Jane teased her about playing hooky for most of it. She'd laughed it off. He was more convinced than ever their friendship was back on track.

Then a week later she called her team into her office first thing one morning. He'd rolled his eyes, expecting a speech on recycling that she occasionally rolled out. He had ignored her requests for attendance after the first two, even when she got that 'I'm the boss and you have to listen to this because I had to listen to this' look on her face. But on this occasion, as she shuffled her feet and couldn't quite catch his eyes, he realised this speech was actually something of import.

She sat behind her desk and straightened the stapler and some pens as she gathered her thoughts. The team exchanged nervous glances, knowing this wasn't a good starting point.

She focused on Cho who was sitting in the chair opposite, Rigsby and Van Pelt behind him as Jane hung by the closed door, his back to it with his hands clasped behind his back.

Her tone dripped of professionalism only marred by a slight quiver that marked her true anxiety. "Okay. So...so I have some news." She paused and smiled, forced it to spread across her face. "It's good news, actually, so don't all look so worried," she added with a short chuckle. She licked her lips, shifted in her chair, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

When she touched her cross, Jane frowned in response as his heart rate picked up, his relaxed posture fractionally less so as he watched her body language become increasingly at odds with her words of composure and optimism.

"I'm leaving the CBI," she announced finally with a curt nod.

A gasp from Van Pelt and a look of shock from Rigsby ensued.

"It's been amazing working with you all and you are truly the best team I've ever had the privilege to lead. Cho, you'll be taking over when I leave. For now, anyway, and I've recommended you for the position on a permanent basis-"

"Where are you going?" Jane cut in, forcing her to look directly at him. _So that was what the sick day was all about, she must have been to some kind of interview. Or, if not that, then a day where she had needed to consider her options without distractions. Or maybe she was just sick and..._

She blinked as they locked eyes. Evenly, "I've been offered work in the Private Sector."

He studied her for any sign she was lying. Rattled he could find none, "Who with?" he prodded.

"Why, what does that matter?"

He took a step towards her. "It didn't but it does now if you don't want to say. Sounds like you're unsure if this is the right move for your career."

Briskly, "Fine. It's with Ray Haffner. He's opening up his own Security Firm and has asked me to join him." She took a deep breath as she stared at her consultant, fixed him with a steely gaze. "And no, I'm not unsure in any way. Not at all. It's time for a change. Might even be long overdue. It's a great package, Jane. I'd be a fool to turn it down."

"Hm. Better money, benefits, I'm assuming?"

"Yes."

"With Haffner?"

Tightly, "Yes."

He huffed but said nothing more. Then, "Congratulations, then, I guess," he replied, little warmth in his tone.

With that, he turned around and let himself out.

* * *

The cheetah dashed across the screen, the camera zooming in as he approached the lone wildebeest drinking lazily from a Kenyan watering hole. Jane's expression remained unchanged as the predator struck his prey at lightning speed, its hind legs buckling quickly under the cheetah's firm grip.

"Jane!" Lisbon's voice suddenly came roaring through the door of his motel room. He jerked immediately at the sound of her all too familiar infuriated greeting as he lay on the bed, moaned when he heard her pound her fists against the wood before he had time to get to his feet.

"Open the damn door!" she yelled.

He rolled his eyes and muttered something about patience being a virtue as he took the three steps required in his sock clad feet, not attempting to button up his vest before he arrived at the door. He was met with Lisbon, fierce green eyes staring at him and instantly reminding him of the wild creature he'd just watched on television as she regarded him with the same look of murderous intent.

Well, perhaps not quite the same. He was pretty certain the aforementioned hunting leopard hadn't gone out for the evening and imbued more than a few shots of tequila before he went on his deadly hunt.

His lips curled into a smile as he watched her teeter slightly in three-inch black heels against his doorframe before righting herself again. She wore a knee length emerald green silk shirt dress with a thin black belt that circled her tiny waist. The first three buttons were undone, the usual modesty of hiding her impressive décolletage taking a rare but very welcome night off. Her cheeks bore a pretty rosy glow, their colouring assisted by both alcohol and fury, he determined.

He stepped backwards to allow her to enter, quirking an eyebrow. "Your leaving party over already? That boring, was it? Or did Rigsby perform his Tina Turner and, therefore, proceed to empty O'Malley's early?" he asked her smoothly.

She slammed the door behind her with her right hand.

"I do have a security deposit here, you know," he added politely. "Mind the wood, please."

She jabbed him in the chest with her index finger and began to shout, "You lousy-"

"Okay, can we take the volume down a notch, please," he interrupted with a long roll of his eyes. "Not a big place, Lisbon, no need to yell." He quickly sidestepped her next jab and went to the sink in the small kitchenette attached. Calmly, "So, water...or perhaps tea? Perhaps some chamomile, hm?" He added quietly out of earshot, "Or perhaps some Diazepam, Valium, a few horse tranquillizers..."

Reflexes impeded, she narrowed her eyes at the space he'd just vacated as if he'd just disappeared into thin air.

A bottle of water was pressed into her hand a moment later. "Drink this," he ordered. "You'll thank me in the morning," he continued before he returned to the tea kettle.

As her head began to swim she sat down on the edge of the bed, opening the bottle and taking a large gulp as she watched him make tea like she had a hundred times before as her dizziness wore off.

"I won't see you in the morning to thank you," she grumbled taking another long sip. "Will I?" she added, louder, victory in her tone. "With all the vacation days I'm owed today was the last day I'll ever have to see you in my entire life."

He stopped his preparation for a split second at her words before resuming again silently.

She added, unabashed, "Not that I've seen much of you lately, anyway. You've sulked in your damn attic or god knows where for most of the past fortnight since I told you I was leaving. Going with anyone else but me to crime scenes on the rare occasions you actually took part in solving cases lately."

He said nothing as he dipped his teabag then heard two small thuds in the vicinity of his bed. He poked his head out of his kitchenette to see her shoes lying on his carpet as she massaged the sole of one foot. Her face was screwed up in irritation as she kneaded the ball of her foot before she looked at her fingers and frowned. She smeared the small amount of blood she'd found from tip to tip, flummoxed.

"New shoes, huh?" he said, putting his cup down and walking into his bathroom.

A second later he was back, a box of band-aids in his hand along with a tube of antiseptic. He knelt down in front of her and she gasped as he took hold of her foot quickly and firmly. He glanced up at her with a soft smile before he nodded to the cut on her heel. "You never hear of breaking shoes in, woman?" he said as he opened the antiseptic tube.

He nodded to a box of tissues on his nightstand. "Clean your hands before you stain my bedspread."

She smiled as she frowned, blotting the drops of blood from her fingertips. "I thought I was the bossy one," she said.

He smiled up at her. "You are. But I'm not nearly as terrified of you when you're not quite compos mentis. Think I could dodge a punch from you in your current condition. Speaking of which, just how much tequila _did_ you have tonight? Or was it that much can't you remember?"

"Just a couple," she maintained, swallowing a hiccup as she drank from the water bottle.

He laughed softly. "An even worse liar when you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk!"

"Uh-oh. Okay, this is going to sting a bit. Three, two..." He dabbed the wound and looked at her, expecting a moan of discomfort. She pursed her lips but that was all.

"Well, that was a disappointing reaction," he admitted with a small smile in her direction.

"We're not all cowards where a bit of pain is concerned," she retaliated.

"And that's something to be proud of? Why?" he argued, shaking his head. Then he surprised her, raising her ankle further gently and tilting his head at a ninety-degree angle. In one long breath, he blew on the spot he'd just applied the ointment.

Her breath caught in her throat immediately at the hot intimate sensation against her heel, her toes wiggling instinctively as they tingled. She opened her mouth but nothing came out - neither a pithy remark nor a moan of blissful content. She was grateful for the latter and cross with herself for the former that he'd rendered her speechless so easily.

When she noticed him smiling again as he blew on the cut once more, she looked away and crossed her arms across her chest, trying to still the frantic beat of her heart and the shiver that was trying to escape her spine.

"I'm mad at you," she pouted, at last, drawing a deep breath.

He placed a plaster carefully on her right heel. "You don't say. I'd never have guessed that from your entrance here this evening. You're a marvellous actress, I take it all back."

He set her right foot down and lifted her left one. "That one's fine," she said, pulling it from his grasp, attempting to gain back the control she'd just lost.

His fingers lingered on it, pulling it back into his hand forcibly. "I'll be done in a minute. Plenty of time for you still to be mad at me when I finish attending to this one. What on earth made you wear those death traps of shoes, anyway?"

As he gave her left foot the same attention as her right foot she relaxed more and was staring at his curls as she looked down at him, somewhat doe-eyed (or perhaps it was more cross-eyed), by the time he'd finished.

He stood up and coloured as her gaze followed him. "So, tea, now-" he started.

"Why didn't you come tonight?" she interjected. "Earlier in the office when the team were talking about taking me out to O'Malley's to celebrate my last day - you said you would."

"The truth? I didn't want to be bothered by the interrogation I'd have received from them if I'd said I never intended to go."

She huffed. "Wow. Thanks. Good to know where I stand in your list of priorities." She nodded to the television. "Obviously right below a night in watching defensive animals get torn apart."

He shrugged, attempted a weak joke with a small smile, "Busman's holiday considering what we do for a living, I know."

When he saw her glare continue he added a snarky comment of his own, "Sorry, what _I_ do for a living now, I suppose I should say. You're on to greener pastures without all that bloody mess with Haffner now, aren't you?"

She retorted, "Careful, Jane, you almost sounded jealous there for a minute. Your mask's slipping."

They stared at each other defiantly for a long second. Then he said, "Are you really upset with me because I didn't come to your leaving party? Come on, Lisbon, don't be so childish. You didn't even want one yourself. As you would put it: 'you hate that kind of crap'."

"It doesn't matter what it was, Jane. It was the last time we all could have celebrated being a team together. And you're calling me childish, seriously?! I haven't been the one avoiding you for the past fortnight! Okay, so you didn't want to come tonight but you could have suggested something else for us to mark the occasion!"

He bit on the inside of his cheek and shrugged, saying nothing. Instead, he turned around and brought two cups of tea back a few minutes later, relieved the water bottle he'd handed her was now empty and that she appeared to be sobering up. Although the fact she was comfortably sitting on his bed with her feet up and her back to the headboard as she absently watched the wildlife programme he'd been viewing spoke of an ease in his domestic surroundings that a truly clear-headed Teresa Lisbon would not normally allow.

He winced inwardly, the scene before him too familiar to one he'd witnessed and been a part of in Vegas. He picked up the remote control and turned the television off, setting a cup of tea on the nightstand beside her as he sat on the edge of the bed with one of his own.

He did his best not to admire how nicely she filled out her simple dress, tried not to imagine his fingers opening every button and exploring what lay beneath. He'd had to exercise all his self-control into not openly admiring her shapely calves when he'd cleaned up the cuts on her heels. Still, he could pretty much map out every freckle and contour blindfolded.

She was watching him with a line between her eyes when he drew his gaze back to her after taking a long sip of tea. "You wanted to talk, obviously," he said, nodding to the remote control. "If you're going to shout at me some more we might as well have peace and quiet before you start up again."

"Maybe I don't want to shout at you anymore," she said simply, her eyes never leaving his. She shifted on the bed as she made herself cosier.

"Okay," he replied, licking his lips and absently wondering if she'd purposefully moved just so he'd catch a glimpse of milky thigh in the process. He turned his attention away from those thoughts and asked breezily, "So? You have a nice evening?"

She shrugged. "It was all right, I guess."

He nodded. "Got lots of compliments on your fine work and the required clichéd speech from Bertram he normally rolls out for such an occasion, did you?"

She smiled, "Yeah, something like that. He could barely contain his glee."

"I don't know about that. He's probably wondering who else he's going to find willing to put up with me."

Her expression softened. "You'll be okay, Jane. Cho and the others-"

"Yeah, of course," he interrupted, a short snap to the words.

She frowned, "Never mind me being mad at you, are you mad at me too?"

He relaxed his expression. Evenly, "Why? Do I seem mad?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Like I said, you've pretty much ignored me since I told you I was leaving."

He placed his cup on the ground beside him. "Hm," he said, "been busy with my list and so have you getting your exit process in place. That's all it is, Lisbon."

Unconvinced, "You are mad, aren't you?"

He puffed out a long breath and turned his head to face her. "Well, since we're on the subject you could have told me you were leaving-"

"I did-"

"No," he interrupted sharply. "You told the team. You told all of us together."

"So what?"

"It never occurred to you that I'd view that as strange? You don't see that you and I share..."

She pounced on his words quickly. "You and I share what, Jane? Huh, what, exactly? We spend our lives doing our best _not_ to share."

"Well, you disregarded that practice weeks ago, didn't you? And now look where we've ended up."

"So, you're saying it's my fault-"

He got off the bed quickly. "I'm not saying anything. Look...doesn't matter. You-you were right. It was childish of me to be annoyed with you for not telling me separately."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry. This has all...this has all thrown me for a loop, I guess. First...then you leaving...it's a lot of change. And I'm not good at change."

She blinked quickly. "You know I think that's the most honest you've ever been with me."

He shook his head. Exasperated, "You make it sound like I've lied to you every single day we've known each other, Lisbon."

She shrugged. "How would I know, Jane? How do I know when you tell me the truth and when you lie? You lie so easily I can never be sure."

Aggravated, "Okay, you want the truth from me? I'm not happy with you leaving the CBI. I've tried to be...hell, I should be, I know that...but...but I'm not. So, there it is. Happy now?"

"Gee, I think I figured that out for myself with how you've been acting. Why are you torn, though? Not happy because you might actually miss me or happy because you think it's safer for me to be out of Red John's crosshairs? Is that why you haven't said anything?"

"The two aren't mutually exclusive." He took a step towards the bed, his eyes dark. "I should want you to be as far away from me as possible. I should _want_ that for you." He swallowed, "But I don't. I'm selfish and I can't. But neither can I ask you to stay if that's what you came to hear tonight. I won't ask that of you, Lisbon."

"Jane-"

He shook his head. "No. You're doing the right thing. Even if you're going to be bored out of your mind with Haffner. Better that than dead."

"You don't know that's going to happen!"

"That you'll be bored?" he replied wryly. "Call it an educated guess working with that buffoon on a daily basis."

"Now you really do sound like you're jealous."

"Oh? Are you sure that's not just wishful thinking on your part," he smirked.

She blushed, "Anyway, I wasn't talking about Haffner," she ventured. "Red John could have killed me a hundred times already, Jane. You don't know that's what his plan is for me!"

"Hm. Him asking for your head should have given you some indication as to his future intent, my dear."

She scrambled off the bed quickly to face him. "And what's happened since then? Huh? Nothing! He hasn't made any move to come after me-"

"That doesn't mean he won't in the future!" he snapped. "He's just biding his time...the longer he waits the more he knows I'll..." He clamped his mouth shut and breathed out, averting his eyes away from hers that were increasingly searching and inquisitive.

"What? The more you'll what, Jane?!"

All at once he turned and took hold of her shoulders roughly, "You know what, woman! Don't make me spell it out for you!"

"How the hell am I supposed to know what you're talking about?! I never know where the hell I stand with you, you jackass!"

He huffed loudly and, with a sudden outburst of frustration, propelled her backwards, nails biting into the silk of her dress. Her back hit the wall with a soft thud as they both breathed heavily. His eyes, startled by his abrupt actions as he so flagrantly lost his keenly guarded control, blinked wildly as they stared at each other. Fear and arousal hit them simultaneously as their bodies moulded together. His gaze, dark and menacing, went straight to her lips as he licked his own. His burgeoning hardness pressed against her stomach, penetrating the flimsy silk of her dress. He watched her pupils dilate, her entire being respond deliciously to his forming erection with a low grunt and a subtle gyration of her hips. He went to draw back and apologise for his outburst, his chest wedged so tightly against hers as they panted frantically. But she grabbed his opened vest before he could put distance between them. "The more you'll what?" she growled as she pulled him flush against her once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Truths

His gaze sprang to her mouth, parted in annoyance and already readying another jibe. But any words caught in her throat and her breath hitched when his scrutiny of her face turned to something far more primitive, far more predatory. Passion and prudence huddled together, locked in a silent duel, as air expelled from his lungs in short puffs that tickled her face.

A second later lust was the victor and, smelling of tea and tasting of desire, his lips suddenly crashed against hers, tongue prising her lips to part further as he deepened the kiss rapidly. Hungrily, he attacked the inside of her mouth, her teeth, the rich velvet of her tongue. It was far from tender but thirsty and desperate. It was like a dam had suddenly burst inside him shattering any sense of cohesion or control. Such was his voracity it took her a second to respond in any fashion. Then, when her brain caught up on what was happening, she let go of his vest and looped her hands around his neck immediately, drawing him closer as her mouth instinctively reacted to the sudden assault on her lips. Her tongue joined his and they danced wickedly for seconds as she kissed him back. Wholly intoxicated, he moaned into her mouth and she let out a groan as he forced her further against the wall, his entire body flush with hers as they continued to drown in kisses.

They drew apart for air briefly and she stared at him, breathless, fearful he'd stop as quickly as he'd begun. "Damn it," he panted, shaking his head, a wild look in his eyes.

Then the devil appeared in them and stoked the hell fire raging in her belly, quickly assuaging her concern with his next words. "No, I'm not going to stop," he gasped as he caught his breath. He exhaled loudly and kissed her again unhurriedly, painstakingly, summoning a brief semblance of composure to make it tender and loving than hurried and frenetic. He withdrew his lips and his forehead fell upon hers as he shook his head again slowly. Quietly, "I should. For your sake, if nothing else. But somehow I knew that if I ever kissed you..." He planted a soft kiss on her forehead, "If I ever allowed myself even that...that I wouldn't be strong enough to stop myself from wanting what might come after." He kissed her cheek lovingly as his voice broke. "I knew I'd want this too much."

He trailed a slow hot kiss down the side of her neck as passion battled to escape self-control once more. "I knew I would want _you_ too much," he whispered.

She melted against him as he continued to kiss her neck. With each press of his lips to her skin, his restraint weakened and need increased. "I can't promise you a damn thing," he murmured desperately, his teeth grazing her enticing flesh until she whimpered. Urgently, against her collarbone, "You _need_ to understand that before we go any further. You _can_ stop this now. We can stop. It's not too late. Just tell me to stop and I'll drive you home and we can never speak of this again. But _you_ need to be the one to say it, Lisbon. Because I cannot."

She closed her eyes and listened to his breathing, fast and hot against her collarbone, his lips less than a centimetre from her skin. She heard him swallow thickly like a starving man in need of sustenance, could feel the effort it took for him to control himself from indulging in tasting her. She could hardly accept that he was the same man from weeks before – the man who shunned her, pushed her away, toyed with her emotions.

Now she was _all_ that mattered to him. Right now she was _all_ he was thinking about.

She ran her fingers through his hair and his breathing stopped momentarily before he relaxed under her hand with a long calming breath. She stroked his cheek as she brought his face up to hers. She stared at him, eyes circling his features for a long second. "No, I don't want you to stop. I don't want _us_ to stop," she responded fiercely. She kissed him and he kissed her back with a soft exhalation of want like he'd been waiting an aeon for permission to continue and not just a second or two. "And I'm not asking you for any promises, Jane," she added, her fingers at work casting the vest off his shoulders.

He looked at her again, narrowed his eyes as he openly read her. "You deserve better than this," he said with absolute seriousness as his vest hit the ground.

"You or this lousy motel room?" she smiled.

Solemnly, "Both."

Nevertheless, he reached over and slowly popped open the next button of her dress while he stared at her.

Her hands went to his belt buckle. "I really don't give a damn where we are."

She yanked the belt from his pants with a fast _smoosh_ as it slid through the loops.

He popped another button.

"But...the other thing...you're that bad in bed, are you?" she asked with a smirk.

He grinned, popped another button.

And another.

A black lace bra was his prize. His right hand descended from her neck slowly, his fingers brushing over the gold cross she wore. "Hm. What do your instincts tell you, Teresa?" he hummed as his fingertips daintily trailed across the woven fabric of one breast in a leisurely lazy pattern. He kissed her as he continued to tantalise, barely touching her with every pass of his hand.

She arched her back, offering herself to his nimble fingers. "I-" she began.

Her head rocked forward again with a start as his other hand slipped between her thighs unexpectedly, its fingers firm and purposeful as it made its ascent. Unlike the near shy-like touches of her breast, they moved with precision and confidence.

 _Distraction, of course, the magician never too far away in him_ , she mused abstractly. Too busy focusing on what one hand was doing she had wholly forgotten about his other one.

The soft silk of her dress rode up to her upper thighs as he pressed the pad of his middle finger against her panties at the apex of her thighs. He grunted in satisfaction as he discovered the slick heat that greeted him. Pushing the damp strand of cloth to the side he slid his finger inside her quickly. She convulsed immediately and scratched his neck with her nails, her vaginal walls clamping around him as she bit down on her lip hard to stop crying out. He added another finger gently and curled them inside her, the coarse strip of pubic hair at her entrance soon covered in a silky film like gossamer thread as he pushed deeper then released, again and again, slow then fast. He kissed her with a low roar of content as more liquid velvet welcomed him. Caught up on the exquisite touches below she barely reacted to his lips on hers or the soft squeeze of her breast. She moaned and closed her eyes tightly as he added his thumb, circling the sensitive bud above in clockwise movements. Her cheek curled towards the wall, mouth set in a blissful _O_ _,_ as he continued.

Her head was only just turned away when his fingers left her breast and he tilted her chin to face forward again, coaxing her to look at him. She opened her eyes to find him watching her, studying every nuance and inflexion as he applied more or less pressure to her core, obvious of his reading of her, and determined on finding that sweet spot where she'd find her release.

He said nothing as he persisted with eyes dark as coal and holding her chin gently as he brought her closer and closer to falling over the edge. Somehow he sensed she was about to come undone before she knew it herself. His eyes reflected a spark of victory just before she buckled under his hand and cried out his name in a shallow sob as her forehead hit his chest.

He withdrew his hold on her and paused to fix her panties one handed before he supported her with a hand around her waist. He brought her mouth to his and kissed her affectionately.

"I always knew you'd want to watch," she said as soon as she could catch her breath to gentle kisses being placed on the top of her head as he held her flush against his body again, rocking her gently in his arms.

"Thought about me doing that to you often, have you?" he replied with some wonderment and a smug smile she knew was there but couldn't see.

She blushed brightly just as he took her face in his hands and stared at her with something close to awe. Tears pooled in his eyes as he kissed her again. "If it's any consolation I've thought about doing that to you very often, too."

Surprised, "You-you have?"

He laughed wickedly. "Meh. Just a few times." A long pause. "Probably less than two hundred."

She laughed and kissed him. For seconds they wrapped their arms around each other and kissed joyfully. Suddenly there were no barriers between them and nothing held back as they caressed and kissed. Her hands moved to his shirt, opening its buttons quickly. He moaned when she stroked the bare skin underneath, delicate caresses over the plane of his stomach, the golden hairs on his chest. He just held back a swear word when she trailed a fingernail over one of his nipples and she smiled into a kiss when she tweaked it and he shuddered. Her mouth left his to cover his neck, collarbone and chest in rapid tender pecks. Her hands wove around his back, nails creating red zigzag patterns over its smoothness as she kissed his front. His fingers got lost in her hair, massaging her scalp, as his head rolled back towards the ceiling before he closed his eyes and willingly gave up every other sense to focus entirely on the fiery sensations her lips and fingers provided.

But it wasn't long before he could no longer remain passive as the temptation for her flesh got the better of him.

She'd barely unzipped his pants when she was suddenly hoisted up by her ass, her back crashing against the wall beside the bed again as he lifted her. He pressed his body against hers as his mouth devoured hers again, his tongue wet and hungry with renewed passion and fingers squeezing into her ass cheeks hard as he held her in place.

Her arms circled his neck, holding onto him with her legs around his waist as she leveraged herself against the wall. She kissed his ear then bit down on it hard.

He let out a low growl as he attacked her lips again. She met every kiss with ferocity, sucked down on his lower lip until he moaned when she released it. Less effort required to hold her against the wall, he pulled at the material of her dress at her back, pulling it upwards in large handfuls until he arrived at the smooth skin of her ass.

"Christ," he grunted, kissing her again, his tongue fluttering against hers. "I've wanted to feel that forever."

She laughed playfully until he released one hand around her to discard his pants. She heard the sound of his boxers joining them at his feet, the impatient grunt as he kicked them away and the slight shift in his hold on her. He kissed her again as she felt the tip of his penis against the cotton at her core. He propelled her towards the wall again and drove his pelvis forward. She gasped and gyrated her hips, earning her a huff of sheer lust as he hardened against her. He did it again and then once more, quickly rock hard. A swift throbbing need in her groin made her cry out, "Jane, god, now!"

His hand firmly took hold of her left thigh and held her leg aloft as he centred himself at her core. A giddy smile washed over her lips as she kissed him. But just as she was certain he was about to enter her she sensed a quick change of heart. "No, don't you dare stop!" she said, almost in a frantic yell, as he dropped her feet to the floor again carefully. She panted breathlessly and lost her footing for a second until his hands held her in place again, sliding gracefully down her sides to steady her.

To her surprise, he grinned at her. "I already told you I have no intention of stopping."

He kissed her before she had time to reply, followed it with further kisses as he unbuckled her belt and threw it to one side. Nimbly, he cast the dress off her shoulders and it fell to the ground. He admired all of her for a second, his face lighting up with almost childlike wonder as he appreciated her curves and soft edges. He said nothing but simply kissed her again to make his delight clear before he removed her bra one handed.

He feasted on the hardened peaks of her breasts, showered them with attention for seconds. He moved lower, nuzzled the smooth skin of her flat stomach. Finally, he slid to his knees before her.

He pulled her panties off unceremoniously and she watched him avidly as her chest rose and fell rapidly, barely believing the sight in front of her was real. His eyes, dark with desire, flicked upwards to meet hers. He licked his lips and said nothing as he tasted her with the tip of his tongue. She let out a loud gasp and held onto his shoulders as her legs almost gave away again at the first swipe of his tongue. He smiled devilishly, grinned as he did it again like he was savouring the best ice cream he'd ever tasted.

"Jane!" she panted, one hand making its way to his hair and gripping it tightly. "I don't know if I can...again, I mean...I-"

"Yes, you can," he assured her. "Trust me, Lisbon," he added with a glint in his eye and a wink.

She laughed a tad hysterically then drew a sharp intake of breath when he hummed in appreciation as he suckled on her clit as he discarded his shirt. She banged her head against the wall again as she saw stars and mouthed another silent _O_ as he became greedier and greedier with teeth and tongue.

"Look at me," he ordered gruffly a few seconds later as her head lolled against the wall as every nerve ending tingled in her body.

She drew her face back to him, fascinated and baffled, his words, tone and actions utterly at odds with the man she thought she knew for years.

He smiled then, more the man she knew taking the place of this wild stranger who was turning her on more than anyone ever had. He rubbed her clit slowly with the pad of his index finger to soothe her as he spoke, his voice low and hypnotic as the smile vanished. "You still think you mean nothing to me?"

He pressed a soft reverent kiss against the patch of hair at her entrance and breathed in her scent audibly before he looked up at her again. "Do you?" His voice cracked slightly. "Do you still doubt how much you mean to me?"

She breathed out, her heart caught in her throat. Tears welled up in her eyes. She shook her head slowly. Somehow she knew his actions this night and that this sexual act, in particular, was reserved only for women he loved. "N-No," she answered truthfully.

He nodded, satisfied. Then he stood up slowly and faced her again, surprising her utterly. She looked downwards, her core crying out to be satisfied again despite her earlier doubts, the heat inside her like a volcano, ready to explode again within seconds of him tasting her.

He smiled and kissed her softly on the lips, slow and sweet. Full of tenderness. Full of affection. Full of love. "Patience," he said against her mouth. "You really need to learn that lesson."

Then she was lifted off her feet again all at once in contradiction to his words of forbearance. He looked deep in her eyes as she held onto him again, one hand around his neck, the other gripped to his bicep. He licked his lips and opened his mouth as if he should say something but was lost for words. She saw a man not quite so confident now, not quite so certain of himself, anymore. She'd barely seen _him_ since the day they'd met.

"It's okay, Jane," she said with a soft smile. "It's okay. No expectations. Of anything. Now. Or after."

He swallowed hard as he centred himself against her core and closed his eyes as he embedded himself inside her slowly. He let out a deep animalistic moan as her heat engulfed him, welcoming him and sucking him deeper and deeper inside.

"Oh my god," she gasped, her nails biting into his upper arm as she squeezed her eyes shut when he had filled her completely. "Jesus!"

He drew back only to thrust into her again, faster. And again.

He opened his eyes and kissed her as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Thrust. Kiss.

Thrust. Kiss.

Thrust. Kiss.

He sped up his movements, crashing into her with more abandon as she held onto him tightly, encouraging him with her pants of approval, her moans of lust, her nails turning his flesh red.

He rammed into her again and again with loud grunts, one hand moving to the back of her head to stop her bashing it against the wall as his movements turned more frenzied. His other hand held her up by her ass cheek, fingers digging into it with every deep penetration.

She wrapped both arms around his neck and clung onto him firmly as he increased the pace yet again, yelping softly with every hard thrust he produced upwards. Both his hands splayed across her backside as he kissed her as he continued, lifting her light weight easily as he drove himself inside her time and again, legs akimbo around his torso.

"Fuck, Lisbon," he growled against her mouth, her ever increasing slickness enabling faster and faster torrid movements.

The sound of him swearing like that as he uttered her name, something she thought he never did, so uncontrolled and passionate, made her eyes roll back in her head. She felt the first waves of orgasm take hold of her.

Jane's breath against her shoulder, ragged and sweltering hot, urged her on to ride it out, extend it. He nipped at her neck, scraped his teeth against her collarbone. With a guttural bellow, he swung her away from the wall and practically threw her on top of the bed, inside her still and thrusting wildly as hovered over her. She wrapped her legs around his waist to encourage him to go harder, deeper, her need to see him liberated, free of every emotion except lust surpassing any pain she might feel later.

Her moans stopped suddenly and her eyes flew open wide as the next wave hit her at breakneck speed. She opened her mouth but no sound came out as she wildly scratched his back, her heels pressed tightly against his backside. He drew his head back and pulled out of her, watched eagerly as she thrashed about below him. As her pants decreased he filled her again, thrusting roughly. Her eyes rolled back in her head again and she moaned loudly as he did it again. Three short bursts later he came with a roar of release.

 **M SCENE END**

Breathing heavily, he rolled off her and to the side with limbs like jelly, afraid he might collapse on top of her. Incapable of speech he closed his eyes, panted furiously for seconds as every muscle in his body twitched. She turned her head as she caught her breath to see his chest rise and fall rapidly, rivulets of sweat littering the lines on his face, the matted hair on his chest. His curls, normally golden and tamed, were darkened and flattened. A single damp curl remained on his forehead. The transformation was complete from Jane, the unflappable, arrogant and sometimes irritating consultant, to Patrick, raw and utterly readable. To view him as he was now was both scintillating and intoxicating.

"You're not going to have a heart attack on me, are you?" she asked with a hint of a smile, recovering her voice before he did.

He grinned with his eyes closed. Between rapid breaths, "Not quite sure just yet."

Slowly, he moved to sit up on the bed a second or two later with a deep breath, glanced at her quickly as she lay naked sprawled over the bedspread. They both blushed and he looked forward again, moving the errant curl back from his face. He reached behind and stroked her knee gently with two fingers. Softly, "Uh...water? I'm parched." A short embarrassed laugh escaped him.

"Please," she responded in the same vein, "um, thanks."

He searched the floor for his boxers and put them on quickly, his back to her. "No problem, be right back. Just gonna...gonna use the bathroom first."

"Sure, of course."

As he closed the bathroom door behind him she reached over and grabbed some tissues and cleaned herself up quickly. "So much for not staining the bedspread," she said to herself, blotting some evidence of their lovemaking away. She disposed of the tissues and sat up quickly, her head immediately going into a spin. "Oh, god, maybe I was drunk." She looked at the clothes discarded on the floor in front of her. "Yep, definitely drunk. What the hell were you thinking, woman?" she said to herself. "He can't even look at you now."

She quickly grabbed her dress and threw it back on, shoved her bra and panties into the handbag she'd brought. She looked at the shoes that had caused her so much discomfort and grimaced. She stood up and fetched her belt and was just about to fasten it around her waist when Jane exited the bathroom. She sped up her movements to button up her dress as she heard his refrigerator door open and close.

"You're-you're leaving?!" he said in absolute shock when he re-entered the room with two water bottles to find her dressed.

She reddened and shrugged, "Uh..."

He narrowed his eyes at her. Softly, "That...that wasn't regret just now," he said, nodding towards the bathroom. "I just didn't...um..." He ran a hand down his face. "I-I just needed to collect my thoughts after..." He smiled to ease their joint awkwardness, "And my breath. I mean, seriously, woman, I really think I might have just had a mild cardiac episode."

She relaxed visibly and smiled back at him briefly. "I just don't know...I...uh...I don't know how to handle this. How...how you want me to handle this."

He walked towards her, took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it. "It's about how _we_ handle it, not just me."

"Well, I don't know how to do that either like I said."

"Not running out on me in the middle of the night is as good a starting point as any, I'd suggest," he remarked wryly. "Not good for a man's machismo when a woman does that."

She blushed, "I just thought..."

He captured her lips. "Well, you thought wrong. I don't want you to go. So, will you stay?"

She nodded silently, taken aback.

He smiled fully. "Good." He nodded to her dress, "Take that off, I'll find you something clean to wear in bed. And drink some of that water."

As he went to fetch her a shirt she looked around the room as she took a long gulp from the water bottle. She was in unchartered territory now. _They_ were in unchartered territory now. She wasn't good at this stuff – this _personal_ stuff- and Jane was no better. His bossiness and joking around were simply his way of coping with the change of status quo between them too. In a way, it would have been easier for her to leave, to skulk off afterwards and never talk about what happened ever again. She could blame the booze, he could blame...her? Himself? But the fact he hadn't allowed her that easy way out surprised her. Was he just being kind because he felt he owed her at least that? Was this just a last hurrah, one crazy night together, before they said goodbye forever?

"Thinking that hard right now will only make your head spin," he said softly, suddenly appearing in front of her again with a freshly laundered shirt. "And after all that tequila earlier you don't need any more of that."

Startled she grabbed it off him quickly then looked at her dress. Her face flamed as he continued to stand opposite her. "Ah..." she started, looking at the shirt in her hands again and then at him.

He laughed, "Really? You're suddenly shy?"

"Jane," she said, attempting her best bossy tone. "Can't you at least pretend that this is kinda awkward?"

"Bathroom's free if you want to get changed," he responded with a sunny smile.

* * *

When she returned he was in bed, bare chested and staring at the ceiling with his hands joined behind his head. He glanced towards her, arching an eyebrow at his shirt on her. A faint recollection of Lorelei wearing one too not that long ago hit him - but not for long. He didn't want to waste a second longer on that whole debacle when he had Teresa Lisbon to stare at instead. He felt the hunger for her again renew at the sight of her shapely calves, her hair cascading over her breasts, wild curls framing her face. Pale and freckled her cheeks flushed as she drew back the covers and got in bed.

"So," she said, lying down and mirroring his position.

"So," he replied.

They lay together in silence for a moment. "I thought you wanted to talk or something," she said when she couldn't take the quiet after less than three seconds.

He turned on his side to face her. "Are you always this chatty in bed?"

"I sleep alone most nights so I'd say not," she bristled with an eye roll.

"Hey," he said softly, "look at me."

She swallowed and turned to face him.

"It's gonna be okay, alright? You don't need to freak out."

"I'm not-"

She sighed and licked her lips. "Okay, I am. How come you're not?"

He shrugged, played with the cuff of the sleeve of the shirt she wore. "I already had my freak out in the bathroom afterwards."

"You-you did?"

"Mhm-mm."

She smiled faintly. "What did you do?"

He smiled. "Hyperventilated, almost cried, washed my face, sat down, stood up, paced a little back and forth. Pretty standard freak out, I think, I'd put it at a level seven out of ten, maybe."

She laughed. "You have a rating system for freak outs, do you?"

"Well, I do now," he grinned.

She relaxed visibly and sighed audibly. "This _is_ weird, right?"

"I think if it wasn't then _that_ would be weird." He moved closer and kissed her softly. "But okay for weird, right? Not terrible weird."

She kissed him back. "I guess."

He blushed suddenly, "Um...look, I didn't...I don't quite know how to ask this but...but I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Huh?"

He coloured further. "When we...uh...well, when I..." He rolled his eyes. "Christ, I didn't exactly hold back, did I?"

She chuckled. "I didn't exactly discourage you to, did I?"

"Even so-"

"Jane, I'm a big girl. Don't be silly."

He nodded, his lips pressed in a firm line. Seriously, "I'm not usually that...well, it's been some time...with anyone who matters, anyway, and I...just lost myself-"

She kissed him tenderly. "Stop fishing for compliments. It was great and you know it was great."

He grinned. "Yeah? Best you ever had, huh? Is that what you just said?"

She laughed and whacked him on the arm.

"Ow! I already have scratches everywhere! Go easy, will you?!"

She giggled as he drew her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you," she said quietly after a moment, her head on his chest.

He rubbed her arms soothingly. "For the best sex of your life? My pleasure."

She laughed then quietened again, "For this...for...making it easier afterwards. For now. For making everything feel less uncomfortable and more _normal_ again, somehow. Even though we _are_ in bed together and _that's_ not normal at all."

"Hm. Just delaying the inevitable, really."

She looked up at him. "Hm?"

He stroked her cheek. "Well, we _do_ have to talk about it, Teresa. It-it has changed things between us. Significantly."

She shook her head. "It doesn't have to, Jane. We can just...we can just go back to how things were before."

"Doubtful. Although you no longer working for the CBI means change enough all on its own." He expelled a long dispirited breath.

She rested her head back on his chest again as he stroked her back. "You never did answer my question, you know," she said quietly.

"It still needs answered? You never hear of actions speaking louder than words?"

When she didn't respond he tilted her chin towards his face. Softly, "All right. The more he waits..." He drew a deep breath, "the longer he waits to come after you the more he knows I'll-I'll fall in love with you. Hence the harder it'll hit me when he finally takes you away from me."

She blinked rapidly as her breathing sped up. He smiled softly at her surprise. "Really? It needed saying that I love you? I've told you that before, anyway."

"And then you took it back. Said you didn't remember."

"Okay...but you also know me. You really think it likely I'd forget I said something like that? You know I wouldn't. But I _was_ hyped up when I said it and it did just...well, it slipped out, I suppose."

"So it was easier to pretend you didn't remember?"

He shrugged. "Yes. And you looked like a deer caught in the headlights when you asked me about it. And relieved afterwards when I pretended I hadn't recalled saying it. We both weren't ready to discuss it. Not then."

"I'm not sure we're ready to discuss it now, either."

She relaxed back in his arms again with a long sigh.

"So that's your solution? We pretend tonight didn't happen? That I didn't just admit that to you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It's easier, isn't it?"

He pecked the top of her head. "You wouldn't have wanted me to say the words so much if that was what you really wanted to happen."

She nodded and sighed. "Maybe. But I don't see how we can make this work, either, Jane. You're still going to go after him, he's still your number one priority, isn't he? One night of great sex isn't gonna change that. I'm not delusional."

He puffed out a long breath. Quietly, "Yes, I am and I guess...yes, he is."

"Thank you."

He scoffed, "What the hell are you thanking me for? I've just-"

"You were honest with me." She rolled over and faced him again, hands on his chest. "All I've ever wanted is your honesty, Jane. And you just gave it to me. Do I wish that it could be different? Sure, maybe, I don't know. Or maybe if you said you were willing to give up on the idea of killing him or going after him for me then I'd be the one run who'd run for the hills. I don't even know if I'm ready for a relationship with you or anyone else and I sure as hell know you're not. Maybe tonight and this time together was all I needed. Maybe this was all _we_ needed. Just to feel close to each other, to...express ourselves for once without being afraid. To be truthful with how we feel for once. I think...I think that's enough for me. Enough for us. Don't you?"

His voice cracked as he kissed her, "You're amazing, you know that. I-I don't tell you that often enough."

She raised both eyebrows. "I don't think you've ever told me that in your entire life."

He chuckled softly. "Then let me rectify that. You, Teresa Lisbon, are-"

"Yeah, yeah, all right, no need to go overboard, Shakespeare."

He slipped his arms around her waist and rested his fingers across her back. "Why are you really going to work for Haffner? And don't give me any of that bullshit about more money and benefits. You've worked in the Public Sector too long to care about those things. You would have jumped ship years ago if you did."

When she said nothing he added, "Honesty, remember? Like _you_ want from me."

"Okay, okay. A few reasons."

When she paused again he said softly, "It's okay, I know I'm the main reason you're leaving. You don't need to be afraid to voice that. My question is...why now, in particular? Because of Vegas, Lorelei?"

Easier to discuss while not looking directly at him she withdrew from his arms and lay on her back beside him again, drawing the covers up to her chin. "Opportunity just came up a couple of weeks back."

"But you've had similar opportunities before. And I very much doubt the notion of working with Haffner is any more appealing than they were."

She looked at him, puzzled. "How did you know I had job offers before this one?"

His eyes glinted mischievously. "I didn't until now. Not for sure. But stands to reason one of the fat cats we've met on our crime solving travails would have tried to poach you." He paused and shrugged, appearing nonchalant, "Like...say...Walter Mashburn, for example...I'm sure he wanted you."

As he expected a flush covered her face and neck immediately. "Wh-at?!" she almost choked.

Affably, "Mashburn. He'd have loved to have got his hands on you on a more full-time basis. Really explore your potential. Poor man only received a short taste of what you're truly capable of. I'm sure he wanted more, a fool if he didn't." A long pause. "For one of his companies, I mean, of course. Security...or internal investigative matters, something along those lines."

She narrowed her eyes at him as she attempted to determine the meaning behind his words, hidden or otherwise. She decided to let sleeping dogs (and charming billionaires) lie. Firmly, "I thought we were discussing Haffner."

Cheerfully, "Go on, then."

She let out a long sigh to ready herself. She spoke quietly with gravitas. "I wasn't sure I could watch it anymore."

When she didn't immediately elaborate he turned to face her and read her instead. Sadly, "Me, you mean, when you say 'it'?"

She nodded, grazed her lower lip with her teeth as she frowned. "You have no idea what it's like, Jane. To be on the other side and watching someone..." She swallowed and shook her head, "watching someone you care about sink lower and lower into the dirt. To feel helpless to help them. To have them push you away instead, to disregard you, to show...to show nothing but disdain when all you want to do is help make things better."

He closed his eyes, "Lisbon...I-"

Louder, "Maybe if I hadn't already experienced something similar in my life already then I'd be more equipped to deal with you. Or maybe that's why I've been able to deal with you until now. But when you feel like the other person is barely hanging on...who is willing to do _anything_ to quench their addiction...to excuse _any_ behaviour because of it..." A tear rolled down her cheek, "I began to wonder if I was doing more harm than good. Both to myself and to you. That maybe someone else...someone not so invested in you could manage you better than I could. And maybe that makes me a coward, I honestly don't know. I just know I couldn't stand the idea of failing someone I cared for. Not again."

Caught off guard by her sincere honesty Jane took a second to respond and instead watched her as she continued to stare at the ceiling than chance a glance at him. "I'm sorry," he said, injecting as much earnestness into the words as he could. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you lately. Truly, I am. But please believe that I couldn't have come this far without you, Lisbon. You've already given me so much and you don't owe me a thing. I'm the one in debt here, not you. And perhaps it is too late for me. Perhaps it's too late for me to gain salvation, redemption. But I do know this – if anyone can help me find it then it's you. Whether you're in my life every day from this point on or not."

She blinked quickly and turned her head. "Really?"

He nodded as he swallowed. "Really. You haven't failed. Not then and not now. It's not your fault what selfish actions other people choose to take. And I am sorry that those actions sometimes have the propensity to hurt you. Despite recent appearances, I do mean that."

"It's not like I don't know what you're doing, Jane. You think by pushing me away Red John will lose interest in me."

Troubled, "That's the hope. Even if it is a distant one."

"Now we won't be working together anymore do you think you can stop pushing me away?"

"I guess I can l try. Assuming you didn't mean what you said and that you still want to see me occasionally."

"Of course, I do. We're...friends, aren't we? I-I don't want to lose that." Her gaze strayed the rumpled bedsheets around them. "This won't...this won't change that, will it?"

He smiled. "If there are two people in the world who can pretend nothing happened tonight – if that's what you're saying you really want – then I'd say that was us."

"True," she agreed with a small smile.

"And you'll only keep worrying for my sanity if you don't check up on me every now and then. That martyr complex of yours is quite a doozy. And-and the last thing I want is never to see you again. In any capacity. I don't even want to envision that future."

She sighed. "It's not just you, Jane, not just because of you I think that leaving the CBI is for the best. It's me too. When I got stabbed the other week you were right. I was distracted thinking about our fight and whether I should call you or not call you to help with the case. And that wasn't _your_ fault like I said before. I'm supposed to be the professional one here and not allow personal feelings to get in the way of cases. But I did. I was lucky that, on that occasion, the damage was minimal. But what would happen if we got into it again, I started to think. What if I got so annoyed or frustrated or...riled up someone else ended up getting hurt? What if it was Cho...Rigsby...anyone else...you, even? Or what if I mess up the Red John case somehow because I'm too overprotective of you? What if I can't stop myself from interfering or thinking I know better? What if we fight even more and break what we have entirely? What if I can't stand back and watch you kill him? What if I arrest him and you hate me for it?"

She breathed deeply. "There are so many ways this could go south for us. And-and you mean more to me than he does so it's better I'm not in the fray with you right now. Not until you call and ask for my help. And damn, I hope you do that the day you find out who he is, I really do. I know I'm most likely going to be bored out of my skull working with Haffner but I'll take that if it helps you and it helps the team. And it might even help me too to put some distance between us right now workwise."

He nodded, "I can't promise I'm going to be any way reasonable until I catch him...so maybe...maybe you leaving is for the best. To preserve what we have currently."

He frowned when he saw her eyes dart back and forth. "What else?" he pressed.

"Hm?"

"There's another reason you accepted Haffner's position. Something you're not sure you want to tell me."

"How did you...? Damn, okay...but it has nothing to do with you. Not personally. Not-not really. Not with what's been happening between us lately."

"I still want to know what it is."

She exhaled loudly. "Okay. Working with Ray might actually help _us_ in the long run, too."

Perplexed, "Us?"

She smiled faintly. "I don't mean in the romantic sense. I think we both know that we can't have another night like this. At least, not now. And maybe never again, who knows."

As he went to speak she held a finger up to stop him. "You know I'm right, Jane."

He nodded as he pursed his lips. Quietly, "It's too dangerous, I agree." His eyes roved over her slim form under the covers. "Regrettably."

She kissed him softly and nodded. "But we still have a few hours tonight once I'm done explaining why working with Haffner might be a good idea."

He quirked an eyebrow with a grin. "Then don't let me stop you. Keep talking, woman."

She smiled, "Okay. When Ray offered me the job I did some research on where he was getting his funding. He's worked at the FBI and the CBI and he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth so it was odd, you know, him suddenly opening up a place of his own. Unless he won the lottery I couldn't figure where he'd have the money for that never mind pay me a handsome wage. So I investigated. It took a little off the books digging...that was why I phoned in sick that day a few weeks back – I had to talk to some old contacts who were a few hours away – but I found out something pretty interesting. Something that might make the experience of working with him more appealing than at first glance. Kinda clinched it for me to accept the job offer."

Jane frowned, intrigued, "Oh?"

"Visualize is funding him," she explained triumphantly.

His face fell. "Visualize?"

"Uh-oh."

He shook his head. "Lisbon, why the hell?-"

"It's an 'in' into the organisation, Jane. Don't worry, I'm not about to have my mind brainwashed, I know what I'm doing. We both know they're more than a bit shady and we also know that Bret Stiles is somehow connected with Red John. There's a link there, somewhere, I'm sure of it. You know it, too. Maybe if I'm working there I can find it. It's worth taking the opportunity to find out."

He sighed, "We don't know anything for certain but you getting mixed up with that bunch of fruit loops-"

"Think logically, Jane. Haffner must be pretty high up the ranks for them to fund him."

"It's likely only to launder money for them, Lisbon. And their finances will be kept tighter than a drum."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, it's for money laundering purposes. But that means there's a money trail somewhere to be found. And I won't find out unless I actually work there." She grinned, "It's a start."

Perplexed, "A start for what, exactly?"

"Who knows? Al Capone was jailed for tax evasion, not murder, wasn't he? If I'm on the inside then perhaps I can find out more about their operation. Maybe I can pay Stiles back for almost blowing me up that day. Ray trusts me and if he thinks you and I are on the outs when I leave the CBI he'll be more amenable to showing me a better...path...true enlightenment...or whatever other claptrap might come out of his mouth-"

"He'll also make a pass at you when you begin working there, you do realise that." He failed to keep the jealousy out of his tone.

She smiled, "So you are jealous?"

"Am not," he huffed. He cleared his throat, "But...just how far are you willing for things to go, exactly?"

"I'm not going to sleep with him if that's what you're asking. Nor am I going to be indoctrinated. But, anything else, well, I'll see how it goes. I'd imagine Stiles will show up in my first week to understand why I left the CBI and if I have an ulterior motive for working there."

"I don't want you any closer to him than Haffner, to be honest. And he'll most likely see right through you, Lisbon. You're a terrible liar."

"Well, it's not your call what I choose to do, Jane. Just like I can't stop you from doing things I don't want you to do either. And you can help make me a better liar and figure out what approach Stiles will take and what my response should be. That'll help sell it."

"Teresa, this is reckless for most likely no return. You've given up your future with the CBI-"

"I already told you why it's better I leave, Jane-"

"Because of me-"

"Because of me, too. Not just you. But this opportunity is something positive that might come out of it."

He shook his head. "I don't like this. Not at all."

"Why do you think I wasn't going to mention it to you?"

He sighed. "I'm in two minds whether this helps with Red John or doesn't. Maybe he'll see you as more expendable if we're not actually working together."

"Didn't work out that way when you were in Vegas, did it? So why would us working across town from each other be any different?"

He nodded, fractionally placated. "Hm." He paused, "You know, I really thought you came here tonight to get me to persuade you to stay at the CBI. Shows you're not quite so translucent as I thought, huh?"

She moved closer and kissed him slowly. "Maybe I just came here for your body instead."

He kissed her back. "Mmm. Maybe you did. Although it did take you being a few sheets to the wind to build up the courage."

"Serves you right for not going to the bar to stop me, then. Besides, you started this, not me."

They kissed as his fingers danced on her hipbone. "Well, perhaps that was always my plan – that I wanted you to come here for this instead."

She laughed and trailed a fingertip over his bicep. "You're good at reading people but not that good."

He pulled her closer. "No?"

They kissed languidly for seconds. "You'll be careful?" he said, drawing back for air. "Promise me you'll be careful working and investigating there. You won't have backup like at the CBI. And that if you find out anything that might lead to Red John you'll tell me first."

"I will, I promise. As long as you will do the same."

She stared him down for an answer.

He nodded eventually. "Okay. Okay, I will."

"Promise?"

He rolled his eyes. "I swear."

"Okay."

He wrapped his arms around her. "You know, just thinking off the top of my head here, perhaps we should meet up on occasion just to discuss developments from both sides."

She smiled against his chest. "Privately, you mean?"

"Naturally. Can't be too careful." He ran his hands up and down her arms.

"Out of town maybe once a month or so, something like that, you mean?"

"Fortnightly I was thinking. Would have to be somewhere quiet, off the beaten track, of course. Can't have prying eyes if we're discussing Visualize or Red John."

She glanced up at him. "Absolutely. Fortnightly? You sure you can spare the time with all your list writing?"

He winked at her. "Believe me, I'll make time."

She grinned and kissed him. "You sure?" she asked a second later, more soberly. "I really don't want whatever this might turn out to be to get in the way-"

He kissed her. "I'm selfish. I want both. You and him. I have no idea how we really make that happen but I know enough to know that one night with you is not nearly enough."

Meekly, "I was afraid to ask for more."

"I know. And that's another reason I love you."

She kissed his chest as a response as she blushed.

He put his arms around her and held her close as he spoke to the top of her head. "And no matter the outcome with Red John it is _not_ your doing or your fault. On the contrary, if I survive it then it _will_ be because of you. You need to know that you have made these years not just palatable or easier - you have made me _want_ to live them, Teresa."

She shook her head as her breath hitched, "But Red John-"

Determinedly, "Searching for him makes me _need_ to live them. But you make me _want_ to live them. Understand?"

She nodded mutely as a tear ran down her cheek as she closed her eyes, his warm welcoming arms wrapped around her.

They had no idea what the future would hold but, even when they parted the following morning, they both knew they were facing it together once again. As partners.

\- THE END -

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks again for all the wonderful comments to this short fic, I'm truly overwhelmed so many of you enjoyed it. As I've left this universe open I may well write a sequel at some stage in the future. But thanks again, in any case.**

 **Apologies for delays in updating my other fics as I worked on this one but a Broken update is my next priority.**

 **And a quick shout out to all the lovely Mentalistas I met in Amsterdam last weekend, it was a pleasure meeting you all in person at long last!  
**


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